I turned another year older this weekend. To celebrate I did something I thought I'd never do on my birthday . . . . No, it wasn't anything strange or perverted, but it could've been. There's only one thing I've ever experienced that has ever come close to what I did this weekend -- The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And Dr. Frankenfurter was played by none other than the noted television personality, the posterboy of underachievement, the student of Eros, the station cancer, the devil's own and finder of faggottry -- yes, the Ticket's own, Gordon Keith.

The similarities are shocking: the bewildered couple in a strange environment at an odd hour, the host of questionable sexual practices, the older man adding his two cents every now and again and a host of new and unusual other guests. I think all that was missing was the rain. We were greeted at the door by Riff Raff and Magenta (the security guards). We went up an elevator to the laboratory (the studio) and watched a bizarre experiment (the Rant). And there was a meal of unusual quality (doughnuts, that for some reason, very few ate). Songs even broke out every now and again.
As Brad, I went in hoping rather naively that Gordo would choose to discuss the Tick-tionary, but true to form, the Doctor went straight after Janet. He keyed in on the age gap between myself and my very significant other, the lovely Ticket Chick, Rachelle. He wanted to know how a tore up, old spare like me land such a fine young woman like her. "From the library", Rick Arnett, who sat in with Gordo that day, applauded me for my luck in landing my Ticket Chick. He went on to pronounce our relationship doomed -- if he had anything to do about it. If it weren't for the even more questionable habits of our fellow audience members, I'm certain the Doctor would have continued his chase. But then, would you have expected any less from Gordo?
And just like Rocky, now matter how strange and disconcerting it is, you have fun and can hardly wait to go do it again. Thanks for making it a memorable birthday Gordo.

It's just a jump to the left . . .

These were my fellow participants in Saturday's Bohemian Rant:

• Randy Lee Aven -- the guy with the name like a serial killer. He wanted everyone to visit his web site: http://www.flashnet.net/~yitbos/randy.htm I haven't had a chance to check it out. Someone tell me if it's any good.
• Kayla and Marvin Shockey from North Richland Hills -- These people wouldn't admit to how many porn sites they have bookmarked. Rumor has it, "Too many to count."
• Augie Martinez -- The guy who sat next to me who wanted to be known for this quote, "Yo quiero Taco Bell." Don't ask me why.
• Amit Kaluskar -- A frequent Ticket caller and baseball fanatic. He wanted to tell everyone to "watch out for Pedro J. Martinez on Opening Day '98. Is that like Mrs. Cordero looking out for her husband??? If you don't know, ask Amit. (I hope I spelled his name right)
• Tara in Lakewood -- "Good God Almighty, the Birds are in charge." She told me who wrote that and I forgot. That's her quote. (?) Says she's "just friends" with . . .
• Steve Stress -- "I'm smack dab in the middle of a real live cat fight" He's a drummer for the Band Formerly Known as Mess. Steve, ara . . . get a hold of me. I want to make that band the Barely Official Band of the Tick-tionary.
• John in Lewisville -- "It's not rape if you don't remember it."
• Kyle Buford -- "Caress my ego."
  The last two are both under eighteen years of age. Does it show?

And special thanks to Nancy and Andrew for taking the heat off of us.

Barry, after that loss, I was thinking maybe Dr Kervorkian.

More good things about Dennis Scott coming to Dallas:
He'll make us really appreciate how little trouble Roy Tarpley was.

Another fine schtickful entry from the contest.

John Engleman thinks Kate will make it to Garland. He's also the first to predict a medical complicationin that she will develop a "giant case of Biker's Crotch."

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