If you just came here from the Ticktionary main page (and I'm sure most of you have), then you know today's my birthday.  I'm 32 and not too terribly ashamed to admit it. So, for the sake of being concise (mainly because I'd like to enjoy the aforementioned birthday), I thought I'd reveal some inner workings of not only the online extravaganzas, but maybe of myself as well. Bob does not write everything on hardliners.com.    While Bob certainly enjoy putting his giant Teutonic thumbprint on some of the columnist's meanderings, he generally doesn't do any of the larger things.  That would include about 10 GNO's, Ticketstock, the 1,000th show and any number of bits of on-the-spot reporting.  I do that because, as somewhat gainfully self-employed, I can run out to these things with digital camera in tow to report these things for the 11.5.    So, if you see a spread with references to the "GREAT Sideshow Bob," you can rest assured that I wrote it . . . mainly because I know how much it whips Bob. Rachelle is not near as self-centered as she seems in her columns.   Yes, I know . . . sometimes I wonder how she would get her head through a hanger door after reading some of her columns.  But it's all shtick.  People from Saginaw are not conceited.  For God's sake, they're from Saginaw!   People from Saginaw are just proud they get to leave it.

I really kinda enjoyed the Max Miller show.  And I'm not just saying that because I feel guilty about not doing a web page for him.  I did, however, think he was unsuited for his timeslot:  Rocco would have fared so much better there.  And then there's the whole Joe Letche thing too . . . . There are many benefits to being a Mexican Goth.  It's true; I can go for months without sleep.  We store it in an invisible "sleep hump," much like camels store water.  Not only that we are highly resistant to the potent Hispanic parental guilt trips and the crippling self-loathing that affect others of my heritage (like Mexican Junior) who do not have the benefit of my Gothness.

All this, and we get secret discounts on all the black clothing we buy . . . but you didn't hear it from me.

"Get out the A-1 sauce, I'm done."