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Growing up, I had the distinction of usually being the shortest kid in class. Let me tell you friends and neighbors, it sucked. It always meant being picked last for everything the involved any kind of sporting prowess. It meant being at the end of every line that was arranged by height. It also meant being at the front of any class picture, which for someone as photo-phobic as me, was no fun at all. Along with all that it meant that I was the prime target for the bigger kids in school. I was fodder for any kind of dirty work or dirty trick to be had.

The upside to the whole short thing was that I was also a prime sympathetic figure to some of the other bigger kids who didn't feel the need to pick on me. When one of the bigger kids would pick on me, they were sure to be there to pick up the slack. This cause me to develop a strong appreciation for those who champion the little guys against the bullies of the world.

As for the bullies themselves, I have mixed feelings for. On the one hand, I pity them because they are generally too insecure to try to better themselves in ways other than picking on people weaker than they. On the other, they piss me off because they are too stupid or just too mean-spirited to find other ways to make them feel better about themselves. The only thing worse than being just a bully is a being loud-mouthed bully that cries foul when he's given his come-uppance.

Enter the Phoenix Coyotes.

After Jeremy Roenick delivered a vicious, away-from-the-play, hit to Mike Modano, that was only fractions of an inch from taking out his eye, Roenick and his Coyote cronies told the Stars to either "do something about it or shut up." And they did. Stars captain Derian Hatcher put a hit on JR Wednesday night that should have left a chalk outline of him on the boards. With his teammates

And they did nothing. At least not until the game had ended.

Then came upon the land a great wailing the likes that hasn't been heard since biblical times. The Coyotes cried foul to anyone who would listen. Sadly the only person in the league, outside of Phoenix, that bought it was the only one that matter: league VP Colin Campbell. Campbell proceeded with one of the greatest travesty in recent memory. A seven game suspension for retribution on a hit that the league should have punished in the first place.

In the meantime, the only thing I can do is coordinate the airlift of straws and diapers to Phoenix. While I've learned to appreciate the rivalries with Edmonton and Detroit, this week I've learned to HATE Phoenix for the simple reason that they are the worst kinds of bullies: classless, gutless and clueless.

"Get out the A-1 sauce, I'm done."