Curse my inaction!
It really would have been very simple -- especially since those wacky Bath & Body Works folks had developed email software so much more advanced than the rest of us and was able to track who I sent email to -- all I had to do was forward an email to thirteen of my friends I would be rewarded for my efforts with a gift certificate. It's was so EASY yet still I did nothing. I thought the horror would end there.
I was wrong.
I'm sure it all had to be all my fault somehow because the other party involved is female. Despite my aforementioned closeness to my feminine side it doesn't exlcude me from the curse of being exclusively wrong in any arguement I have with a woman. At first, things were O.K. I'd get an email every now and again -- your garden variety, "Thought I'd drop a note to say Hi!" email. Sometimes, the odd touchy feely, pass-it-along-to-your-friends, email would darken my door. But they were few and far between enough not to be disturbed by them.
At least until I started getting them in Brady Bunch-like numbers.
I opened my emailbox this morning to find it bulging with a myriad of emails touting various special secret offers if only I would forward this on to my friends. I
figured if I did I wouldn't have any friends left.
Of course with friends like this . . .
I finally decided to handle this in my usual tactless and cold manner by sending my friend scalding response informing her of how stupid and gullible she was. I even included a few parodies of email chain letters to reinforce the point.
I later found out my friend choked to death on a ham sandwich while watching the "Space Madness" episode of Ren & Stimpy.
Maybe I should've forwards those thirteen messages.
Don't forget: On February 29th. the Internet will be closed for remodeling. Be sure and TURN YOUR COMPUTER OFF!!!
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